You may be wondering why we haven’t updated the blog in a
week. (If you didn’t notice, then you’re not here enough.) It’s rare for us to
get so busy that no posts go up, but hear me out: this is the order of events
that happened between last week and this one:
SUNDAY:
Jordan and Brian go back to the apartment to sleep after a
long day of working on the new house. Jordan steps into the bedroom and
immediately throws herself onto the ground in an evasive manoeuvre as yet
another bat dive-bombs her from above. After Jordan crawls backwards down
the stairs, Brian startles the bat into the office and shuts the door. Bags are
quickly packed and Jordan and Brian sleep at Jordan’s parents’ house.
MONDAY:
Jordan undergoes scary medical test, complete with
sedatives. Jordan doesn’t remember the rest of the day. The bat catcher comes
and says the bat is gone, and tells Jordan she’s a wuss for not catching it
herself. Jordan is too drugged up to slap the man.
TUESDAY:
Brian finishes the drywall and patchjob on the dining room
ceiling and bathroom walls after repairing
the leak, ready for tiling, at the new house. Leaking pipe is soldered and
new tub has been installed.
THURSDAY:
Brian spends the day scraping spackling off the dining room
ceiling to prepare for repainting. He rinses his head in the new tub while
Jordan tidies downstairs. Jordan hears the whoosh of running water, then the
telltale drap-drap-drapdrap-drap of a
leak. Brian follows the sound down to the basement, where water is pooling on
the floor. With many curse words, Brian
yanks out his drywall patch job and discovers another pipe, cracked. Jordan has
a cigarette.
FRIDAY:
Brian asks Jordan in the morning, ‘What colour would you
like to paint the living room?’ Jordan says, ‘No colour; why?’ Brian says,
‘Well then, there’s going to be one raw drywall wall, because I’m going to have
to cut out the wall to fix the pipe today.’ Jordan says nothing, and stays as
far away from the new house as possible. Brian and Jordan’s dad spend the day
patching the cracked pipe. Mention of the house makes Jordan’s eye twitch.
SATURDAY:
Brian teaches himself how to tile, and tiles the bathroom.
Jordan sticks to packing up the old apartment.
SUNDAY:
Jordan hears Brian testing the water, just to be sure of his
pipe repair. She tries not to ask herself why this is being tested after all the tile has gone up.
Do couples buy houses to test their resolve to co-exist with
each other? I haven’t yet met a person who said, “Oh, you’ve bought a house?
What a wonderful experience you’re about to have! It’s like a second
honeymoon!”
Brian is in his glory. I hope he writes about it this week,
so I can read it and try to understand. Every now and then, he’ll wander over
to me, covered from his head to his toes in plaster and grouting, and just
smile at me. I give him a face I’ve seen on popular girls in high school when
nerdy boys would stare at them; the look that says, “What do you want, weirdo?”
But Brian just keeps on grinning until I roll my eyes and walk away.
Darcy and I are hiding out in Brian’s new office. At least
there aren’t any bats here.
(Knock on wood.)
This is pretty much how I spent my childhood. Being covered in plaster dust was COOL, darn it!
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