The NEST eats: Ottawa Farmers' Market, part I

The Ottawa Farmers' Market ROCKS.

Ottawa is a lucky city: we are surrounded and saturated with fantastic farms, apiaries, sugar bushes, and countless culinary artisans. It's the kind of city where you could conceivably eat year-round without ever heading to a traditional grocery store, and that's pretty impressive. Brian and I try to support local as much as possible, but it's a learning process: you've gotta get out there and discover what's available right in your own back yard! So when the Ottawa Farmers' Market showed up with a basket of goodies for us to try out, we were thrilled to participate. This is part I of a two-part post about the goodies we tried from the Ottawa Famers' Market.

What is the Ottawa Farmers' Market?

The Ottawa Farmers’ Market has grown to over 100 vendors of the best locally-grown and locally-made food, farm products, arts and crafts within 100 kilometres of Ottawa. Now in Westboro, Brewer Park and Orléans, the markets boast some of the City’s favourite artisans – Pascale’s Ice Cream, Art-Is-In Bakery, Flatbread Pizza and the Hot Potato Company, not to mention more Savour Ottawa certified growers than any market. 

Ottawa Farmers’ Markets promote healthy eating and the local farmers who feed us.  The markets support the local economy – farmers, chefs, crafts people and entertainers – while providing the public with an opportunity to get outside, learn about local food and culture, and to buy the freshest, local products the season has to offer direct from the people who produce it. 

Head to their website to find out locations and times, including their Brewer Park and Westboro spots!

EASY DINNER: CHEESE AND MEAT

When we opened up the package, our noses were assailed by a rather intense burst of stinky feet smell. We were delighted to discover this was emanating from two varieties of gorgeous cheese, made by Glengarry Fine Cheeses. The first one we grabbed was the beautiful blue cheese; it turned out to be a wonderful treat, very flavourful but not overpowering. I threw it into a whole-wheat penne dish with olive oil, seared kale, and roasted sunflower seeds--now posted, and titled Penne From Heaven. The cheese was the star of the show; I didn't even have to add any spices for this dish to have major flavour impact. Mmmmmm!

At the last minute, I also ran out and grabbed the Bearbrook Farms Kolbassa that the Farmers' Market had sent us. This stuff is amazing, people. Its flavour was a cross between salami and ham, and the piquant spicy flavours made me think of a late summer harvest. We tossed some cubes of this into the pasta as well, and found ourselves rolling our eyes in delightful pleasure as we chewed.

SWEETS AND SAVOURIES 

For dessert, we basically ate jam off of spoons. I kid you not. How could we resist, with four Michaelsdolce jams sent to us? We hadn't actually had Michaelsdolce before, though we'd heard a lot about it, so as a jam fanatic I was excited. Every flavour lived up to Michaelsdolce's reputation for being clever, complex, and delightful. Here's a quick rundown:

Kiwi-lime: 

This beautiful apple-green jam is sweet with a serious citrus kick. The tart bite at the end reminded me of genuine key lime pie that I've had in Key West. The jam was dessert-y, but also palette-cleansing. It reminded us of a mojito, and if you ask nicely, we can provide you a recipe for one using this jam. 

Blueberry & lavender:

One of my favourite things is lavender in food, and this jam wowed me. Made with real Nova Scotian blueberries, this jam was so sweet, you can literally taste the blue. The lavender flavour was subtle but created an almost smokey taste, a bit like eukalyptus or rosemary. This jam is light on the palette and calls for fresh scones. 

Strawberry & Balsamic:

What a jam! The balsamic is primarily evident in the aroma--and if you're not take a good sniff before eating each of these jams, you're missing half the show. The vinegar pairs with the strawberries to create an almost rhubarb-like flavour. Brian suggested it would go well with pork, so on a lark we tossed some on a slice of the Bearbrook Kolbassa, and sure enough it was fantastic. I also think, though, that it'd spruce up a bowl of vanilla bean ice cream in a very special way.

Citrus Ginger Marmalade:

I LOVE marmalade, and this one is definitely my new favourite. The simple citrus aroma does nothing to prepare you for the bitter, kicky flavours of orange pith, and the warm heat of the ginger. Brian said it called for a bagel with cream cheese, but personally I'd eat it on a thin, crispy slice of light rye bread.

Glengarry's blue cheese.

MORE CHEESE, AND HONEY

We finished up our evening of fine home dining by devouring the Glengarry Fine Cheeses goat cheese and the honeycomb provided by Halsall's Honey at the Ottawa Farmers' Market. Much to my surprise, the goat cheese was actually the stinkier cheese of the two we tried, but the flavour was quite lovely. It is a hard, more crumbly cheese with a mild but bitter flavour, short on the palette but lots of flavour. At the suggestion of Tara from the Market, we popped pieces of cheese into our mouths while gnoshing on chunks of the incredible honeycomb, and the pairing was superb.

Let me talk about that Halsall's honeycomb for a minute: I am still carefully, lovingly, rationing it out. If you've never eaten honey straight from the comb, I heartily recommend you try it, because it's always an amazing taste sensation; but this particular honeycomb was really very excellent. I shared some at work, and the response (from honeycomb virgins, no less) was always the same: this is the freshest-tasting honey they've ever tasted. 

Brian suggested that a lovely picnic snack could be made of a fresh french bread, a hunk of that goat cheese, and this fine honeycomb, paired very nicely with an Indian Pale Ale or a Belgian Wit beer. 

Maybe the most stunning item in the basket of goodies we are reviewing is the cutting board, by Joseph Henri. This beautiful piece of workmanship is what I used to create my Penne From Heaven meal, and we're leaving it on display in our kitchen. I love the idea of picking up one of these for a wedding gift or Christmas present for someone who takes pride in their cooking. 

Part II is soon to follow, and includes some lovely personal care products, as well as dulce de leche, pickles, and grapes. Sounds like a perfect night in by myself, watching Pride & Prejudice and painting my toes. Stay tuned for more local awesomeness. Because nothing rocks more than our local artisans and farmers.

Penne From Heaven: Dead-Easy Ottawa Farmer's Market Recipe

We've been doing some exploring with the Ottawa Farmers' Market, and I invented a new recipe with one of the lovely cheeses from Glengarry Fine Cheese they gave to us. I wasn't strictly requested to make up a recipe, but I had an idea and ran with it; the end result is something incredibly easy but pretty impressive. Since I only started learning to cook about a year ago, I have to say I'm pretty proud of this one. Give it a try.

BLUE CHEESE PENNE WITH KALE AND SUNFLOWER SEEDS

 

 

YOU WILL NEED:

Blue cheese--we had this lovely hunk from Glengarry Fine Cheese at the Farmers' Market.

Kale--a bunch. I have no idea how to measure kale. I suggest it be totally dry. Ours was fresh from our garden!

Sunflower seeds--a big handful, maybe two. Hulled, unroasted, unsalted.

Penne--we went with whole wheat because, well, that's what I had.

Olive oil

Look at that blue cheese!

1. Boil water and throw in your penne when it's ready to go.

2. While the penne is boiling away, heat a non-stick pan to medium heat. Toss in your sunflower seeds and swoosh 'em around with a spatula for a very brief time. When they start to go toasty-coloured, decide if you like the look of them, then immediately get them out of the pan before they burn. I had to do this step twice because I waited too long and burned the poor darlings.

3. The pan now has a little oil from the sunflower seeds in it, so that's perfect for the kale: I tore the kale up with my hands into bite-size pieces, and just threw it in a big mess into the pan, still on medium heat. Regular flipping and stirring is important. The kale will wilt and crisp a little. When you think it looks tasty, pour it out onto the plate beside the sunflower seeds.

4. Crumble up your blue cheese. I only used about a half-cup, but I bet more would be even tastier. 

5. When the penne is done, drain it and quickly throw it back into the pot. Then quick as a flash, throw the seeds, the kale, and the cheese into the pot, too. The cheese melts and sticks to everything, and the kale and sunflowers get all mixed in. Add a tablespoon (or more, if you want) to the mix to help things be tasty.

OPTIONAL: You can add spices. Since we were exploring the flavour of the blue cheese, we decided not to. But I'm sure some rosemary and maybe some lemon zest would have been fantastic.

OPTION 2: You can toss in some meat if you like, though it's not required. We did add a bit of a Bearbrook Farms kolbassa just to try it out, and it was delicious. (The kolbassa is not to be missed and can also be grabbed at the Ottawa Farmers' Market.)

Serve and enjoy! Because the recipe is so simple, it's easy to make just enough: measure your pasta as you always do, then just put in a serving's worth, per person, of each other ingredient. Simple!

 

 

This was so good that I took some to work and fed my vegetarian friend. We both smelled like blue cheese all day and I couldn't have been happier.

The NEST in NS: Prince Edward Island Hijinx

PEI STANDS FOR 'POTATOES ON AN ENDLESS ISLAND' 

Wednesday morning found us heading out crackin' early to hit Prince Edward Island. My mom had spent her summers there as a child and wanted us to see the island. My brother-in-law, Jed, was hopeful to see some nautical tourist sites, and I wanted a white sand beach so I could pretend we'd actually gone somewhere tropical for vacation. Luckily, PEI promised both things. Funny how things can look so optimistic at the start...

The ferry over to the island was pretty neat; this large white ship pulled up to the pier, and the nose of the ship lifted open like the mouth of a shark. We drove in, parked, and headed above deck to see the sea. Brian had a full farmer's breakfast in the on-board cafeteria while I whale watched with my brother--and we actually saw a whale! 

NOTHING BUT FIELDS...

We got off the ferry and began our drive; our first stop was supposed to be a small town renown for its artisans. When we couldn't find the town, we pulled over and asked for directions, only to discover we were in the small town. Unable to figure out where these artisans were supposed to be hiding (unless they were in the gas station where we'd asked for directions), we gave up and headed instead for PEI's oldest lighthouse.

THE PRIM POINT LIGHTHOUSE

The Prim Point lighthouse was really very cool. For those of us who watched Road to Avonlea and remember Gus Pike, hotty that he was, living in the lighthouse, this was quite a thrill. I enjoyed the tour and everything about the stop, but I've learned a valuable lesson: never wear a tight skirt to a lighthouse. The entire four storeys were only reachable via a steep ladder-like staircase, and I basically had to give up all propriety and just hike my skirt up to my groin so I could manage the steps. 

We then drove to Cavendish Beach, on the north side of the island. Seeing as we entered from the south, this was a very, very long drive for a day trip. PEI is beautiful, but I must admit: after the first half-hour of well-manicured potato farms, everyone in the car except Brian fell asleep--because he was driving. But hey, if you are into long drives through vast beautiful expanses of farmland, PEI is THE place to go. For us, it was with a giant sigh of relief that we finally reached Cavendish.

THE BEACH

There was a bit of a ruckus when we first arrived and were sent to the wrong entrance of the national park where the beach is. Empty stomachs and low blood sugar meant that everyone was snippy, so as we stopped for better directions I fed everyone handfuls of trail mix until they all calmed down. A good thing, too, as we managed to get lost a second time--this time, by accidentally driving down a bike path in the middle of the woods--but everyone was able to laugh it off. Thank heavens we had the GPS on the Focus, because I'm certain we would have run out of gas in the middle of nowhere and been forced to eat each other. We arrived at Cavendish Beach at last, with nobody cannibalized, ready for a swim in the Atlantic ocean.

Brian got this shot of a jellyfish.

Several times on our way across PEI, I thought that some of the little glitches happening were almost too coincidental; I had started to wonder if perhaps Fate was trying to keep us away from the beach this day, though I couldn't imagine why. But it was as we stood on the white sandy beach, staring out at a sea literally teeming with red stinging jellyfish, that I knew we were not meant to swim today. The waves were spotted with the personal-pizza-sized devils. Kids were picking up the dead ones and rapidly dropping the occasional live one as it stung their hands. Bravely, my brother attempted a quick swim and ended up with a sting across his foot for the effort.

Brian and I lay on the beach rather than plunge in with the jellyfish. I found myself wondering if this was my new 'thing'; you see, when we were last in the Caribbean, a school of white jellyfish had ambushed my snorkeling group. Perhaps these are my oceanic foe, as the crocodile was to Captain Hook. I shook my head in frustration, but nothing was going to entice me into those waters. 

THE AMAZING RACE BEGINS

We had plans to travel to several other places around the island, including a number of craft shops; but with all the long-distance driving and getting lost, we pretty much ran out of time. We'd book ourselves for a return ferry trip at 6pm, and at 4pm we realized we had a long drive back to the pier. The next two hours were like The Amazing Race, complete with detours, speeding, and a total breakdown of previously healthy relationships. It's a blur of driving, yelling, and sweating; and as the family borke down into savage chaos, with yelling and cursing over the walkie talkies, Frank Sinatra came onto the radio and sang a dissonant tune about the joys of travelling.It was a surreal moment.

We would have made it back to the ferry in time, had it not been for the car accident just off the bridge by Charlottetown. A 45 minute traffic jam meant that, according to our GPS, we were going to miss the ferry by 20 minutes. Eager to get back to Nova Scotia, I confess to you now: we all drove at high speed to get there. The once-quaint fields of perfect potato crops were now a nightmare of endless green, mocking us as we raced to beat the clock. 

Dad, with his babies.

About 5:50pm, my mother radioed us from the other car and said she was changing the ferry reservation to 8pm. We all sighed in resignation; this solution meant no lobster from the pound tonight. Most of us thought we'd slow down our pace at this point, and maybe find a dinner stop on the way, but Brian continued to take us on a high-speed race back to the pier. With clever driving and a great deal of alacrity, we drove the width of PEI...and managed to miss the ferry by 7 minutes. 

ADMITTING DEFEAT, SEEKING FOOD

Dejectedly, frustrated now with our entire PEI adventure, we headed over to an information centre, where we were informed that the closest restaurant would have us too far away to catch the next ferry; but, the girl said, there was a lovely little diner right here on the info centre's property. Fancy that. We walked over to the diner, afraid of what we'd find, but we were utterly surprised and delighted in the end. The staff were incredibly friendly, the food was homemade and delicious, and even the mayo in my chicken salad sandwich was from scratch. In fact, the next day while eating at a restaurant three times as pricey, we found ourselves wistfully reminiscing about the diner at the info centre. I have no idea what this place was called, but if you find yourself near the ferry pier at Woods Islands on the PEI side, go and get yourself a bowl of homemade soup, a lobster roll, or a chicken sandwich. You won't regret it.

PEI, IN A NUTSHELL

Sunset on the ferry.

So our trip to PEI involved a panicked drive, way too many miles of nothingness, a lack of crafty towns, and a jellyfish invasion. But it also contained one whale sighting, one cool lighthouse, and one kick-ass diner. Oh, and just before getting stuck in the traffic jam by Charlottetown, we did indeed stop at a potter's shop, where we bought some pottery and, at her urging, pet her angora rabbits. My only real regret: I didn't get a Cows waffle cone on the morning ferry, and there was none available on the evening ferry. I made up for it with butterscotch pie, but it just wasn't quite the same.

PEI: a beautiful place, and highly recommended for people who like to drive through farmland. Maybe I'll appreciate it more when I'm older.

This week in pictures: newlyweds in the nest and beyond

Brian had a genius idea the other day: there are many things we get up to in a week that don't get posted as a blog post because, well, then we wouldn't have time to be doing these things in the first place. But we do tend to snap a couple pictures here and there. So here's our week (and a bit) in photos, with a tweet-length description beside each. Light reading for a Monday afternoon.

Funny pic: I don't know where this 'Club Soda' is, but I totally want to go there and hang out with these hip cats.

I didn't follow any of the earlier bear story, but this just sounded like the Wile E Coyote writers had hijacked this bear's day.

Mom solidified her status as Coolest Ever by getting us tickets to Bryan Adams. 2.5 hr non-stop playing. Heavenly.

A robin laid her eggs in a nest she built on our balcony. Sadly, they were eaten by something. This bothered me all week.

 

My first time EVER baking from scratch: oatmeal chocolate chip muffins! They were really good! Brian LOVED them.

This 'mushroom' headline was so obscure, and the imagination makes such visuals, that I had to save it for further perusal.

Brian participated in a rock climbing competition. This sign indicated that the gym is high enough to die. Twice. (He did great, though.)

Gaining confidence in my cooking, I created these no-bake energy ball cookies from the Moxley website. They're delish.

The Punk Ottawa flea market provided me with a new mushroom item. So did the highJinx yard sale.

We planted our garden this Sunday, and it was worth the mild heat stroke. Soon we will have veggies; we shall fight the squirrels for them!

More baking: I managed to set my beater on fire, then the oven, by using wax paper in the oven to make these now-dubbed 'fire cookies'. Oops

Missing pictures: Jordan makes bean dip, and we both see Tommy Emmanuel (the guitar legend) in concert.

That's it for now! If there's any of these that you'd like to see explained with greater elaboration, don't hesitate to comment below. I think the fire cookies are worthy of their own post, quite frankly. They managed to still be tasty, and their recipe has been repinned on my Pinterest repeatedly.

On with Monday...

The NEST welcomes CheeCha Puffs!

LADIES AND GENTS, OUR NEW BLOG PATRON: CHEECHA PUFFS

Those of you who have been following the Project: Priceless blogs since Chapter One (the wedding blog) are likely quite familiar with our new blog patron, CheeCha Puffs. CheeCha had given us oodles of mini bags of their treats to share with our wedding guests, and we ended up falling in love with their healthy, tasty snacks. In fact, we were able to get Brian weaned off of fried potato chips, and for over a year now, he’s been far more likely to grab a handful of air-puffed CheeChas instead of greasy, nasty snack foods.

CheeCha Puffs offers a range of puffed snacks, not dissimilar to cheesies in their texture; but these snacks are very low fat, low calorie, and several flavours are also gluten-free! If you haven’t tried them yet, you’re seriously missing out. All it took was one bag for Brian and I to become CheeCha fanatics. With all the crunch of a traditional snack food, plus flavours like Ketchup, Blue Cheese, Dill Pickle, Salt & Pepper, and even Sweet Cinnamon, there’s no end to your snacking pleasure.

We interviewed Tracey, the bubbly and effervescent CheeCha Puffs spokesperson; here’s what she shared about this Canadian, family-owned-and-operated business:

INTERVIEW WITH CHEECHA PUFFS:

1. WHO ARE YOU?

CheeCha Puffs!

2. WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND YOUR POSITION?

Tracey Cadrin, National Sales Manager.

3. HOW CAN PEOPLE FIND YOU?

 Find us online: www.cheecha.ca or twitter or Facebook! 

4. WHAT DOES YOUR BUSINESS DO?

 We manufacture CheeCha Puffs, a healthier crunchy snack!

5. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN BUSINESS?

Since March 1999.

6. WHAT’S YOUR SPECIALTY?

 We’re quite famous for our Gluten Free CheeCha Puffs.

7. HOW DID YOUR BUSINESS GET STARTED?

Elaine Cadrin [Tracey’s mom] began the business in her kitchen with 6 hot air popcorn poppers, and an idea to create a great tasting healthy snack with simple ingredients.

8. WHAT WARMS YOUR HEART OR MAKES YOU SMILE?

Seeing a stranger with a bag of CheeCha Puffs, or receiving a message from someone who just tried them for the first time!

9. WHAT’S YOUR ADVICE TO YOUNG NEWLYWED COUPLES?

 Always remember who you fell in love with in the first place; they are still standing next to you. :)

CheeCha snacks!

From time to time, we’ll be checking in with CheeCha Puffs, seeing what they’re up to and hearing what’s new in their product line. In the meantime, you can get your hands on CheeCha’s at a variety of locations; connect with them via social media to find out what stores in your area. (Ottawa, you can find them at various Bulk Barns, Loblaws, Metro’s, and Walmarts.) Or if you don’t want to move a muscle, you can order CheeCha’s straight to your house. 

We love supporting independent business, and especially Canadian business. Why not support them, too, and be good to your belly at the same time!

Koko Chocolates Review: For Mother's Day and beyond.

Jen is a mom, and a chocolatier.
Officially, she knows what moms want!

MOTHER’S DAY WITH KOKO CHOCOLATES

Our good friend Jen Winter, owner and chocolatier at Koko Chocolates, asked us to review two of her new spring/summer flavours. With Mother’s Day right around the corner, we figured many of you might be looking for something traditional to gift—but with a little twist. Why pick up the usual box of big-brand chocolates for Mama when we have scrumptious truffles handmade by a local artisan just around the corner? And make no mistake, Koko chocolates are probably closer to you than you realize: they are now being carried at various retailers including The Candy Store in Westboro, and other great shops (or online).

Koko’s two newest flavours are described here, as taste-tested by yours truly (Jordan), who is a chocolate fanatic, and by Brian, who has been formally trained in tasting wine, beer, and coffees; his clever palette picks up all sorts of nuances that you, 

the reader, can then strive to pick up, too.

PLUM STAR ANISE TRUFFLE 

Features jam from michaelsdolce with a layer of star anise-infused dark chocolate ganache.

This adorable little truffle with its swish of sparkly pink is deceptively lighthearted in appearance compared to its rich, bold flavour. When first bitten, notes of strong dark coffee hit the tongue before the liquorice bite of the star anise sets in. The smooth anise-scented dark chocolate ganache is complemented by a bubble of tart, juicy plum jam that sits in the middle. There’s a complex spiciness to this truffle that keeps you coming back for more. Brian also noted that the flavours pair well with a Bridgehead Costa Rican Cloudforest black coffee; so perhaps make Mom a breakfast in bed with some fairly-traded coffee and this truffle on the side.

LAVENDER TRUFFLE 

A creamy white chocolate ganache infused with dried lavender. 

This truffle is a real treat, and way too easy to eat. The chocolate shell of this truffle manages to be rich but not overpowering, as your teeth sink down into the white chocolate centre. This creamy ganache has a distinctive “cheesecakey-ness”, with a rich denseness to it. The taste of lavender is subtle in this chocolate, which Brian liked, but I—a seasoned lavender-chocolate muncher—would have been happy to have amplified. It was delicious, however, and a pleasant introduction to the almost rosemary-like taste of lavender that would be a new experience for many chocolate eaters. Brian felt that with its floral, bright, yet calming flavour notes, this chocolate should be eaten on its own. I added, yes: in large quantities.

If you’re sick of the teasing sunny-but-cold spring weather, and you’re yearning to slip on some flipflops and shorts, we heartily suggest picking up a few of Koko Chocolate’s bright new flavours. It may be a frosty spring day, but it doesn’t have to taste like one. Treat yourself, and amaze your mother with true artisanal quality treats that are truly worth the indulgence.

Friday's with Bri - Asian Cooking Class

A COOKING CLASS WITH MY FATHER-IN-LAW

I have done a lot of cooking but never have I taken a course on it, so when I was invited by Bill to go learn some Asian cooking I immediately said yes. We were going to learn how to make egg drop soup, General Tao chicken, pot stickers, and a red bean dessert pancake. 

Class watching chef Nguyen

The classroom where the course took place is upstairs in the Westboro Loblaws Superstore and it is really cool. The room is huge and the kitchen is at the front with an awesome mirror on an angle so you can see everything on the counter, no matter where you are sitting. This really lets the chef do their work and not have to stop ever few seconds to hold up the cutting board or the pot so we can see what’s happening. The really awesome part was all the ingredients that we used: we could have walked downstairs a bought right then and there.

TOFU IS SAFE TO CUT IN YOUR HAND? 

The class was led by chef Thuy Nguyen; she probably was the most powerfully commanding lady I have ever met,  and she is only 5ft-nothing. She made the class so much fun and easy; she talked through every step and really shared her knowledge around all the health benefits of all the ingredients. My favorite was watching all her techniques, like how to get juice from a dry ginger root. My favorite quote of the day was “Tofu is safe to cut in your hand, tofu is really soft and your hand is really hard, so you know where to stop the knife”(as she cubed tofu in her hand with the chef’s knife)… until I develop hands of steal I still don’t think I’ll try this.

I particularly loved the fact that there was a hands-on portion of the class, where we as a class got to make the pot stickers (dumplings) and yours truly was given an extremely hard pat on the back, from such a small lady, when I made a different shaped dumpling.

CHINESE DUMPLINGS:

It was surprisingly simple:

1. Prepare the filling; we used pork and vegetables.

PC Cooking school

2. We used the prepackaged dumpling wrappers.

3. Take egg whites and use your finger to coat the outside edges.

4. Take a tsp. of the filling mixture and place in the center.

5. Fold the dumpling paper over the filling and press the edges together.

...and voila! a ready-to-cook dumpling.

For the full instructions and the recipes check out the PCcooking school’s web site and sign up for a course. I don’t want to give away all the fun!

My favorite part of the class was definitely the teacher. She was loud excited and totally in charge of the class, and you could see everything she did thanks to the mirror over the counter. Oh, and the food was amazing! Jordan said I came home smelling like a Chinese restaurant.

It was an awesome experience and I encourage everyone checkout some cooking classes at a PC cooking school near you.

Jordan's Easter Confessional - Revisited

Last year, I wrote this post for Easter. I just realized that with the coinciding payday and Easter holiday this year, I may experience a repeat of this nightmare. Then I had a good laugh, because it was a ridiculous incident. For those who didn't read this post on the Project: Priceless wedding blog, I hope you enjoy. This entry is an all-time favourite. So, just in time for the Easter weekend, let us revisit Jordan's Easter Confessional. 

source: roundletters.wordpress.com

Saturday morning--the Saturday of Easter weekend, that one day out of four that seems to have no special identity--I decided we could wait no longer for groceries. Brian was at work, and usually we shop together, but today I just had to get it done. I headed over to our neighbourhood superstore and grabbed a cart.
Inside the store, it was absolute chaos. To call it crowded would be like calling Justin Beiber 'a little famous'. People were mulling about in every aisle, carts half-full and dazed looks on their faces as they clearly struggled to think of what items they needed for feeding holiday guests. Barricades of carts had formed, creating confused traffic jams, while staff worked silently and without any sudden movements to refill shelves picked bare. I hate grocery shopping on busy days like this, because there's nothing I hate more than feeling like I'm waiting in line, or waiting in a crowd; but groceries we needed, and groceries I'd get us. I cursed the mathematical pattern that made payday fall on a holiday.

I worked as quickly as I could, dodging carts, deeking around people like a basketball player, sprinting out for raids on the bread and deli counters before returning and dumping my loot in the cart. I worked quickly, making no eye contact, and calculating my total under my breath because I’d forgot my cell phone (slash-calculator). There was no room for browsing today, no time for in-depth nutritional comparisons…just go, go go. Down the entire length of the pasta aisle, a woman used her cart to urge me onwards by repeatedly running it into my Achilles’ tendons, not realizing I couldn’t go any faster because of the three-way discussion going on ahead of me about why noodles have number grades on the box. I didn’t scream at the ankle-whacker, and then later wished I had. A teenaged girl working the customer service desk kept paging someone on the intercom to return a cart with fabric shopping bags in it, a page both confusing and apparently useless, as she made her plea about eight times throughout my shopping trip. It created a surreal, repetitive drone that was almost creepy. I tried—once, and once only—to stop and look at my cart because someone had clearly moved my reusable bags to the lower level of the cart for some odd reason, but a woman T-boned my cart with a huge smash and I decided to just hurry up.

source: statesofmind.ca

I lost track around the third last aisle of my mental shopping list, and the running total price of my purchases, but I wasn’t stopping now. I rounded the cheese section, made a left while grabbing frozen berries with my other hand, and got into the first checkout line I saw. Done. I stood there, dazed, looking over my haul.

And that’s when I saw the strange shopping list.

In my cart was a list, written in tiny, neat pencil script, detailing a long day of errands. But this wasn’t my list. I picked it up and read it, feeling sad for whoever had lost their list halfway through the day. Then I looked down at my cart, and noticed something was wrong: there was a package of corn on the cob, for one. I hadn’t grabbed that. Where I had placed a single green pepper, there was now three red ones. And my bread had somehow morphed from white to brown. As I stared at about a half cart’s worth of unknown products, the teenager’s words from the intercom came back to me: Whoever has taken a cart with shopping bags in it that isn’t yours, please return it to the customer service desk.” I dug under the groceries and found, instead of my usual two fabric bags…ten. Ten fabric bags.

My face flushed with heat as I realized that I was the cart bandit. My pulse quickened as I realized that whoever owned this cart and its contents had wanted it back badly enough to stand at customer service for a half-hour and prod the teenager into repeatedly paging me. I frantically checked the cart for a baby or something else irreplaceable: nothing. Phew. Well, I’d have to go to the desk and figure this out. I stepped out my unenviable position in line and wheeled myself down the store.

source: masterfile.com

I stopped in front of a girl employee who was sorting through carts of unsold products and told her that if she was the girl who’d been radioing for the stolen cart, I was the woman she was looking for. She looked surprised to see me, then said that the woman had just wanted her bags back; I said, well fine but that woman has my bags. The girl seemed to think this made us even, and in any case the woman had given up and left, so the girl basically lost interest in me and went back to what she’d been doing. I stood there, debating with myself, as I now had two options: redo exactly 50% of store, because I could see I had foreign products right up to the soy aisle in the middle of the store; or dump the whole cart with this girl and walk away. I chose to redo the first half of the store.

Pure, unadulterated stubbornness propelled me, back through the insanity of the produce area, back through bread and back through deli; I wrangled my sieve-like memory, demanding that it re-remember all the things I’d picked up through these aisles. I was almost done, just one more thing to get, when I walked down the soy aisle and grabbed my two cartons of soymilk, and I turned back towards my waiting cart—and there, parked right in front of my ‘new’ cart, was my old cart. It was exactly halfway full, and waiting for me exactly where I must have left it when I’d grabbed the other woman’s.

I swore a bit under my breath.

I then had an idea. I grabbed both carts awkwardly and dragged them, wheels protesting, into the soymilk aisle with me. I then began sorting through my old cart, making sure that I had the right number of everything I’d started out with. Turns out, on my second trip through, I had missed quite a few things. I began a wild sorting process…one broccoli head, not two…two soy milks…not four…white bread, not brown…green pepper, not read…oops, there’s the tomato I missed…sorting back and forth between the two carts until I had everything in one cart I had originally intended to purchase. Just as I was wrapping up, I looked around and saw several pairs of suspicious eyes watching me. I realized it must look like some crazy woman had just kidnapped a stranger’s cart and was sorting through it, deciding which head of broccoli she liked better, and absconding with someone else’s picks. I bowed my head low to avoid identification and sped away with one cart, now full of only the products I’d wanted in the first place.

source: oneordinaryday.wordpress.com

I got through the lineups, paid for my purchases, and began bagging them all into my cloth bags—my own bags, now reunited with me after finding my old cart. And about a quarter-way through the job, I realized I needed way more bags. I couldn’t figure out how to ask the cashier for plastic ones when I clearly had a mountain of fabric ones in my cart…so I did something that felt truly sinful, and filled up the stolen bags with my groceries. Then I jogged my cart out of that store as fast as I could, fearing that the owner of the bags would somehow spot me, recognize her generic black Loblaws bags, and then demand I empty my groceries into the cart to give them back to her. Which would have been fair, but highly inconvenient.

Here’s hoping that you get some quiet, stress-free time this weekend, whether you’re an actual practitioner of Easter, or a simple Easter chocolate-eater like myself. Here’s hoping you avoided the grocery stores on Saturday, and here’s hoping you have some relaxing, happy family time…or if that fails, some relaxing time after the family leaves. Easter, originally named Eostre, is the festival of fertility, so take a moment and enjoy the sound of romancing squirrels and the smell of budding flowers.

And if you happen to be the woman from the grocery store whose bags I stole, please send us an email and I’ll get them back to you. I’m grateful for the loan and happy to return them. I hope that didn’t ruin your weekend; the entire adventure sure took a toll on mine.

Fridays with bri: How to cut a Bell Pepper

How to cut a bell pepper…  The hardest part of cutting a bell pepper is cutting it so none of those tiny little seeds get in the way. I believe that I have found the best way to cut it and I guarantee that you won’t have to clean up more than a couple of those stray seeds.

Step one: Start with a sharp knife, a rinsed pepper and a clean cutting board. This will make the cutting so much easier.

Step two: Cut around the top of the bell pepper to separate the two halves buy doing this first step it allows you to remove all the seeds in one go. And pull out all the white sides on the inside of bottom half of the pepper.

Step three: cut off all the green edges of the top half, and discard the seeds.

Step four: cut the bottom portion in half, then in half again. Then continue to cut them into fingers; you can choose to stop here or cut them into smaller pieces.

This is by far the simplest way to cut a pepper with no mess that I have ever found!